Eating disorders don’t allow you much to be proud of. Akin to an abusive relationship, they keep you hooked, berate you, tell you you're not good enough, push you away, and then lure you back with promises that this time will be better.

They give you something you can count on and, in a sick way, a place where you feel comfortable. As long as you adhered to your daily calorie count or allocated exercise time, you would emerge from the day safely and still in control. That's what eating disorders offer.

To remove myself from the eating disorder's control masked as a warm hug, I had to find ways to comfort myself that didn't involve weighing or body checking or a love-loathe relationship with food. It took years of therapy, years of daily—no, hourly self-talk practice, convincing myself that I was enough as I was, that each step back would actually be five steps back, but each step forward would be leaps ahead. I told myself things like:

• I love my (insert body parts here) because they make me feel (insert positive emotions here).

• My body deserves my love and care so that it can continue to do the wonderful things it does for me every day, like walking to work, lifting large boxes, and hugging the ones I love.

• My body also deserves treats whenever I feel like it, and deserves to enjoy these treats without guilt.

• I love my body for all it does for me.

It's easy to fall into a self-hatred hole where our eating disorders wait at the bottom to bury us and never let us see any light. But self-love is the antidote to the demonic voices in our heads. And if our self-love gets loud enough, we can shove the ED out to make room for our authentic selves.