Eating disorder recovery symptoms: What to expect
When we think about the mental and physical symptoms of eating disorders, the list is lengthy. What is often less talked about are the symptoms of eating disorder recovery.
At the start of my recovery journey, I had no idea what I was in for. Why would I? At that point in my life, I hadn’t known anyone who’d recovered from an eating disorder. I was still coming to terms with my own diagnosis. In short, I was completely lost and utterly terrified.
In the messy world of eating disorders, nothing is that simple. And nothing prepared me for the mental and physical side effects I’d experience as I tip-toed into a recovery I wasn’t even sure I wanted, but one I knew I needed.
None of this is meant to scare anyone away from recovery. Pursuing recovery is absolutely 100% worth it. But to say it’s easy and free of weird side effects would be to lie. So instead, I’m choosing to be honest about some of the unexpected, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable symptoms of eating disorder recovery.
*Please note that these symptoms are not necessarily applicable to recovery from all eating disorders. Eating disorders are highly individual and nuanced, and therefore not everyone experiences recovery and its symptoms the same way.
The perils of the eating disorder recovery process
The recovery process can be confusing, arduous, and nonlinear. One day, you’ll feel satisfied about the progress you’re making. The next day, you’ll watch all the work you’ve done crumble into pieces and wonder why you ever even tried. These mental minefields are impossible to avoid, but knowing they might arise can be enough to get you through them.
Before we explore eating disorder recovery symptoms in more detail, I want to stress the third adjective I used above to describe the process: nonlinear.
In a perfect world, we’d hope our recovery follows a smooth path, void of potholes and missing pavement that might throw us off or force us to turn around or stall.
But recovery is not perfect.
As someone in recovery, I understand how frustrating this may be to acknowledge. After all, some of our eating disorders have worked overtime all in the name of achieving perfection. But I want to make it clear that in recovery, we do ourselves a favor by letting this go. We will stumble. We will want to quit. We might even fall back into old patterns. As you recover, your eating disorder will work to keep you chained to its side. So you will need to work harder.
Mental eating disorder recovery symptoms
Now, let’s tackle the eating disorder symptoms head on, starting with the effects on our mental health.
1. Anxiety and fear
Depending on your eating disorder symptoms, you may possess a wide range of fears about recovery. These may include:
These are completely valid concerns since they require you to step out of the safety zone the eating disorder has kept you in for so long. The thought of making major lifestyle changes can be scary, so it’s common to feel some anxiety as you begin to grasp the realities of recovery.
2. Guilt and shame
As you begin engaging in new recovery-minded behaviors, you’ll likely notice the familiar feelings of guilt and shame creep in. Your disorder has trained you to recognize these feelings and use them as the impetus to engage in unhealthy behaviors; however, in recovery, you’ll be encouraged to see them differently.
A disordered mind may view guilt and shame as feelings to avoid, escape, and move on from as quickly as possible. But in recovery, you’ll be challenged to feel these feelings, to sit still with them, and to process them as they work their way to becoming less relevant.
After engaging in a new behavior—like eating a food you once deemed off-limits—you may be tempted to “fix” this detour from your disordered eating pattern. But in time, you’ll learn how to embrace the wobbly after-effects of disobeying your disorder. And as painful and prickly as it seems now, I can promise you it gets easier with practice.
3. Cognitive dissonance
As the pendulum swings between the eating disorder and the prospect of recovery, you may feel pulled in two different directions:
The eating disorder may want to keep you where you’re comfortable, leaving you feeling conflicted about the idea of healing.
Recovery may be pushing you to want to get better, to finally be free from the chains of the disorder, and to re-learn how to nourish yourself.
This swaying between old patterns and new hopes is the foundation of something called cognitive dissonance. According to Psychology Today:
“Cognitive dissonance is a term for the state of discomfort felt when two or more modes of thought contradict each other. The clashing cognitions may include ideas, beliefs, or the knowledge that one has behaved in a certain way.”
The push and pull of recovery can be confusing and incredibly frustrating. It requires frequent check-ins with yourself to learn how to distinguish the disorder’s voice from your new, recovering voice.
4. Mood swings
The mental eating disorder recovery symptoms mentioned above may cause additional feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, and/or irritability. You may waver between feeling hopeful before falling back into hopelessness. As your body learns how to trust you to take care of it, your mind may be playing catch-up, and vice versa. But as you start to stabilize in your recovery, erratic mood changes will become less frequent and more manageable.
Physical eating disorder recovery symptoms
As expected, eating disorder recovery can take a toll on our bodies. This may (or may not) include some of the following symptoms.
1. Changes in hunger and satiety cues
A major part of recovery is re-learning how to listen to and trust our bodies when it comes to food. We have to work on dismantling the disorder’s rules for eating and exercising and pay attention to our body’s natural cues. This will take time, but once restabilized, our bodies will remember what to do with food and will make it clear to us whether what we’re doing is working.
2. Metabolic changes
As the body re-learns how to process food and nourish itself, it may change shape as a result. This is often the most disconcerting aspect of eating disorder recovery, especially for those for whom body image is at the core of their disordered behaviors.
3. Digestive issues
4. Low energy
Fatigue is incredibly common in eating disorder recovery—your body is adjusting to receiving and processing more, less, or different kinds of food, all of which require a great deal of energy.
Personal story
Once I started nourishing myself the way my body needed, I was shocked by how much time I spent sleeping. I let my body rest, trusting it to let me know when it needed rest and when I’d had enough.
Eating disorder recovery tips: How to get through the discomfort
The eating disorder recovery symptoms mentioned above aren’t meant to alarm you—they’re intended to prepare you for what you might experience as you let recovery into your life. But if you’re feeling a little uneasy about them, here are a few ways to work through the discomfort of eating disorder recovery.
Feel your emotions
Feeling your feelings is a huge part of recovery, but it’s also an activity that frightens most of us who have leaned on behaviors to numb our feelings. Feelings aren’t always fun, but this doesn’t mean they’re “bad.” Feeling your feelings means letting yourself be a human being, in all its forms and manners. The more you allow yourself to feel when emotions arise, the more you’ll be able to show up for the life you want to live.
Find alternative ways to cope
As you start to pluck disordered behaviors from your life, you may find you need new ways to process the newfound emotions that emerge. Maybe you find journaling to be a helpful outlet for your thoughts, or perhaps you have a dear friend or family member you can call to talk things through. Whatever activity you choose, you’ll soon learn that you’re more capable of processing emotions without your behaviors than you once thought.
Practice self-compassion
Rebuilding your relationship with food can be fraught with mental obstacles. The reality of recovery is that you’ll likely face setbacks. Self-compassion will be your best tool in these moments. Remember that discomfort is temporary—the challenge of recovery is learning to sit with the discomfort and let it pass.
Eating disorder recovery is a complex, multifaceted process. No two recoveries look the same, share the same timeline, or move at the same pace.
While the symptoms and steps above may help guide you through recovery, it’s important to seek professional help, as well. To start your search for help, visit the Rules & Resources page.
Believe it or not, one day, you will start to think and feel (and eat) things you never dreamed were possible.