As part of a recent writing workshop hosted by the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), we were asked to write a letter to someone in our lives who pressured us to conform to look a certain way, to tell them how their words affected us and how we would respond now. The person who pressured me to conform to look a certain way was me, under the influence of media and society. So my letter is to them.

I fell under the spell. I caved to the false promises. I was gullible and naive enough to believe that following your rules to count calories, exercise, and strive for the unattainable would make me happy during the most vulnerable time in my life. I took your recommendations way too far. I latched onto a “community” of people who wanted to lose weight, stay in shape, and be happy. But I only achieved one of these things (weight loss), and it didn’t make me happier. It nearly took my life.

But now I see through the coercive copy, the dangerous messages, the schemes to get people to feel poorly enough about themselves to buy products or buy into beliefs that we need to look like someone other than ourselves to feel whole. When we remove ourselves from the cacophony that is coming at us from every form of media, we realize that we’re already whole and that whatever we feel is lacking or feel like we need to fix can be found within ourselves.